Real Life: Sleepless Nights and Panic Attacks- worrying about our new baby and MLB

Recently I’ve been suffering from a bout of panic attacks and sleepless nights. I toss and turn in bed worrying about a huge list of tasks I must accomplish soon. Once I have finally fallen to sleep, I find myself waking only hours later in a panic, worrying again about those same things.

We are 8 weeks from welcoming a new member into our family. Where has the time gone? I’ve had 32 weeks to get organised. I was so worried about another miscarriage that it took 20 weeks until I actually believed we were having another baby. Now, I feel like I’ve left everything to the last minute. And the more I worry the less I seem to be getting done.

So what’s keeping me awake at night?

Jackie and Cam_ My Little Bookcase

  • I’m worrying about how family life and my relationship with Cam might change
  • I’m worrying about how I will cope again with the sleep deprivation, and how I can continue to be the best mum possible in those sleep-deprived moments
  • I’m wondering how I’m going to find the time to complete the following tasks:

-Pack hospital bag

-Clean out the freezer and fridge

-Cook and freeze meals

-De-clutter pantry

-Move the junk out of the nursery

-Ask hubby to build more storage for said junk

-Clean the nursery

-Wash sheets and baby clothes

-Install capsule

And I’m not just worried about preparing for the baby either. I’m having panic attacks over My Little Bookcase too.

  • I’ve foolishly made  many commitments (writing guest posts, hosting blog tours), so amongst all of the baby preparations, I still have these deadlines to meet.
  • I am working on a brilliant and exciting project with 12 of Australia’s best illustrators. I know you’ll love the final product. I want to have it ready for you before Christmas but I’m scared I’ll run out of time.
  • I’ve got 30+ ideas, tips and articles I’ve started writing for you, but I don’t think I’m going to have them published before the baby arrives
  • Then there are all of these books that still need to be reviewed and shared with you. Some of which have already been sitting in this cupboard for two years.

  • I know those first few weeks/months are tough with a newborn. Realistically I know I’m not going to have much time to work on My Little Bookcase. Cam and our new baby must come first, but I’m worried that My Little Bookcase will fall off the face of this Earth if I don’t spend time on it. (Those of you who read this heartfelt post at the beginning of the year know how much I’ve invested emotionally into My Little Bookcase.).
  • I want to take some time out, but I also know how facebook works. If I drop off for a while, My Little Bookcase will drop from your newsfeeds and you’ll never hear from me again.

On top of all of these worries is the biggest one of all, what if the baby comes early?

You can help ease a bit of my anxiety by sticking around…..

  • I’ll be publishing guest posts on My Little Bookcase from some of my favourite bloggers and friends. So there’s no need to stop visiting My Little Bookcase
  • Rather than relying on Facebook for notifications of new posts, you could sign up to receive them via email so you don’t miss out when I do actually publish a new post.

So help me out, please:

How do you cope with these panicked moments when you feel like time is against you?

What tips can you offer to help mums prepare for a second child?

Real Life Wednesdays

Real Life: Sleepless Nights and Panic Attacks- worrying about our new baby and MLB

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  1. Oooo I am so envious of those bookshelves full of books to review!!! I READ a lot during night feedings. Can you read, feed and blog at the same time??? Hee! Anything I can do to help?

    • The reading is the easy bit. It’s finding the time to write the reviews that I find difficult, and finding the right words to do the book justice. Don’t know how I’ll do it with a tired, jelly brain.

  2. Jackie, I completely understand your concerns. Most of these (not the MLB ones of coarse) were mine 2 plus years ago when we were preparing for baby number 2.
    The first one you mentioned about Cam and your relationship with her is such a valid one, BUT the most amazing thing will happen (and trust me it will happen). Things will change. There will be a shift, it may be gradualor it may come quickly. Even though the change is pretty much a certain, the wonderful thing is that the change will bring to light aspects of your dear Cam that will surprise you, delight you and make you proud of your first child. Trust in the beautiful attachment you have build over the years and try and look forward to how your relationship with evolve, rather than change.

    Hmmm sleep deprivation. I am not sure I would be much help in there area, seeing I am still suffering from it 2 years down the track :( Things like going to bed early, resting while the baby sleeps and Cam completes some quiet time during the day?, accepting help when it is offered.

    In terms of being the “best mum possible”, it seems very clear through all I have read on your blog/FB page that you are a brilliant, attentive, giving and loving mother. But part of being a great mother is accpeting that having a pre-schooler and a newborn is a challenge and expectations may need to be reduced a little. And that is PERFECTLY ok. Be gentle with yourself, your body and as much as possible protect that very important time & space that comes just after giving birth. Our society is WAY too focused on “bouncing back”, “getting back into things”, “returning to normal life” after a baby arrives. We need to give ourselves more credit and acknowledge that growing and giving birth takes it toll physically and emotionally. Don’t rush that special time and know that we will all be here when you plan to return to MLB :)

    I had my two very close together (20 months apart) and I really wish that I had shut myself away a little more after the birth of Harper, stared at her a little longer, nourished my body better, slept more when the opportunity was there and remembered that the newborn days are gone in a flash. Having an active toddler may have contributed to this, I know but I still wish I had slowed down a liottle more when Harper was a newborn.

    All the best for the final countdown. I can’t wait to hear your special news :)

    Amber xxx

  3. Oh poor you, it’s such a strange time, but a wonderful one. Cam’s life is going to be enriched immeasurably through her new sibling, her relationship with you won’t change. It will develop, wonderfully. All those things that you want to get done? They will. Slowly, but it’ll happen. Deep breaths. Xx
    Feel free to get in contact re guest posts, I’d be more than honoured.
    Take care. Xx

  4. Oh my! What a list! Do you know what, I think it’ll happen because as mums it always does!
    You will find a way to make all of this fit in with Cam and the new baby. And if My Little Bookcase drops off the radar a little, I wouldn’t fret, it will always hold the same amazing things which you put into it and as soon as you’re back in full swing it will gather the crowds once again! :)
    Definitely do the freeze/store meals, and the first few weeks cook things in double batches, eat one, freeze one. That way you’ll have plenty of last minute ready to go meals! :) I could go on forever…. please be encouraged that although it will seem painful to let the blog rest a little. You are not defined by the blog – you are the woman behind the blog. The amazing mum who writes fabulous posts with passion and enthusiasm about books that she loves reading with her daughter. About crafts that come to life from the words on those pages. And about the inspiration and people behind those books. Believe me, that won’t be lost! :)
    Look forward to seeing how you bring a newborn into the equation. Relish in it. Those days/weeks/nights will be shorter than you think. Drafting posts during night feeds etc then perfecting them when your brain is a little clearer is a good idea too.
    Perhaps I should have emailed! :-) xxx Hugs.

  5. I’m happy to help you out with reviews if you need. I could also drop around some meals or take Cam for a play date with Ella :-)

  6. You have developed a very dedicated community so I don’t think you have to worry about us forgetting MLB! When I had Emily I tried to have some special one-on-one time with James each day and involving him as much as possible with the baby. But I must admit that there were times when he watched more TV than I would have liked. In terms of blogging etc I used my iPhone to make notes and write drafts during night feeds. I found that I always had my best ideas then and it was a great way to capture them, because there would be no way that I would have remembered them the next morning.

  7. Every baby is different. My first born was the only one to wake and stay awake at night. We can worry ourselves sick over what might be. When I go through this I pray….a lot….and ask God to clear my mind. There’s a song: “Quiet my mind Lord, make me still before you. Calm my restless heart Lord, make me more like you.
    Raise up my hands that are falling down, strengthen my feeble knees. May your love and joy abound and fill me with your peace.”
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqxYYj-3en0&feature=related

  8. My bookcase of review books is much fuller than yours and I don’t even have pregnancy as an excuse!
    We all worry about those things when baby number 2 comes along, but somehow we make it work. I won’t lie to you, some days will be hard but there will be plenty of amazing times too!
    I just read lots and lots of books to my son – “Where Did That Baby Come From?” by Debi Gliori was my favourite, and made me cry everytime (it still does!) but I am sure you are doing that already :0)
    Just enjoy those last few weeks with your daughter. The rest will sort itself out. And if you don’t post for a while, people won’t forget you. You are too good a blogger and too big an inspiration to just disappear!

  9. Firstly, a big Congratulations! I think I must have missed something along the line ;-)

    Sounds like you have most things under control. If you have guest bloggers lined up for the first few months, the blog will manage just fine. And it looks like there will be lots of reading to Cam happening while you feed – certainly there is no shortage of material! I can’t offer any advice about how to cope with a second (or subsequent)… I’m not sure chooks count! But I am sure you will do just fine. Just do what’s most important for you, your new bub, for your family. The rest will be ready for you when you are.

  10. Oh I can so relate!

    I am a huge worrier… I’d worry myself into oblivion if I let myself. I counter worrying by planning. I plan for the worst, the best and somewhere in between. Almost always my plans never turn out (because life never turns out the way you plan) but I somehow feel more able to cope and to deal with the worries if I plan… so I do.

    And ask for help… email me, my offer still stands :)

  11. It is a challenge but somehow we manage to rise to it. My girls are 19 months apart and all I can say with the second, accept all those offers of help.

  12. You’ll love the new dynamic that your family takes on with this sweet new child. You’re going to LOVE the new child/baby interactions that you’ll be witness to… baby number two is such a joyous occasion because you’ll have shed some of the new baby fears from having already experienced it. Maybe you’re current sleepless nights are just preparing you for sleepless baby nights to come ;) you’ll do great!

  13. s said: On August 22, 2013

    Hi there, everything is going sound here and ofcourse every one
    is sharing facts, that’s genuinely excellent, keep up writing.

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